Here is an update on A thru N....

A

AAUP < 1. American Association of University Professors; 2. not a faculty union (collective bargaining is not an option in Mississippi).

Abbenyi, Abbenyi < well-known editorial cartoonist at The Student Printz, made famous by spoofing the Thames administration.

academic freedom < 1. freedom granted to the professorate (by tenure) to explore controversial, though important, subject matter, without fear of reprisal or recrimination; at USM, it is a special freedom or privilege held by the president to change the locks on the doors and seize the computers of the professoriate, while he has them in his office demanding their resignation or be fired.

Adelman, Mike < 1. attorney representing Professors Glamser and Stringer; 2. could not get his calls returned by USM attorney Jim Keith, who was inserted into the process in a non-neutral way by the IHL Board and Mississippi Attorney General Jim Hood as a measure to "ensure fairness" (see Jim Hood and Jim Keith).

American Pride Paint < 1. odorless paint invented by Shelby Thames; 2. available in only one color (beige).

Anderson, David < 1. former Vice President of Property and Physical Plant at USM; 2. leaving USM for the greener pastures in Jackson; 3. was rapidly developing lower back pain and joint problems fulfilling all of Thames’ requests to have locks changed on faculty offices; 4. also became bored applying American Pride Paint that comes only in a single color (beige).

Anderson, Reuben < retired MS Supreme Court Justice appointed by Jim Hood to "ensure fairness" in the upcoming Glamser-Stringer hearings.

APPEAL < automobile license plate of USM’s Risk Manager, John ("aka" Jack) Hanbury.

a bow tie affair < party that will soon be held honoring Aubrey K. Lucas’ coronation, for the third time, as USM president.

Braswell, Janet < 1. Hattiesburg American reporter that usually presents a pro-Thames slant in all of her writing; 2. too lazy to do real reporting, so she usually regurgitates Lisa Mader’s press releases verbatim as if they were gospel; 3. the only reporter one can think of that could attend a 1,000-person, anti-Thames rally in front of the Dome, find the only 3 Thames supporters in attendance, and take their photo and pen an article about a pro-Thames rally that occurred.

Brown, Riva < 1. reporter from The Clarion Ledger; 2. with assistance from geocities.com/fireshelby, she outed the IHL Board/Jim Hood scheme to give Shelby a little help in the Glamser-Stringer hearings.

Cain, Walt < newly-elected president of the Hub SGA.

Chain, Bobby < 1. former Hattiesburg mayor and IHL Board member from Hattiesburg, 2. once supported Shelby Thames’ administration, but has since turned in the other direction.

Chambers, Douglas < 1. member of USM history department accused by Thames (at infamous press conference) of cancelling his classes to facilitate student protests; 2. had documentation of jury duty instead, and never received apology from Thames; 3. product of a national job search.

Chaze, Kim < 1. lawyer representing Melissa Whiting and other USM faculty in lawsuits against USM; 2. soon to be an even wealthier individual thanks to Thames.

contumacious conduct < sex with secretary.

The Clarion-Ledger < 1. unofficial state newspaper of MS; 2. employs reporter Riva Brown, who covers the Thames administration and current USM crisis.

Cornett, Chad < Hub SGA executive who recently admitted what we’ve all known for sometime: the SGA is a pawn of the administration.

cross-training Provosts < job-training technique invented by Shelby Thames where the Gulf Coast Provost trains for the job there by serving on the Hattiesburg campus, and the Hattiesburg Provost trains for the job in Hattiesburg by serving as Provost at the Gulf Coast.

CSUSM < 1. Concerned Students of USM; 2. courageous student activists fighting to restore integrity to USM against a tyrannical administration and a sometime hostile business community; 3. current slogan for Thames: "Don’t go away mad, just go away."

Denard, Deborah < 1. Hattiesburg city councilwoman; 2. recent supporter of Thames because she wants the 1% sales tax increase for USM athletic facilities to pass so she can syphon off some of the funds for improvements in her ward/district.

Dome Gnome < 1. nickname given to USM president Shelby Thames; 2. his (ST’s) personal favorite.

Doty, Harold < 1. first-year Dean of the College of Business and Economic Development; 2. believed to be the only first-year dean who came with tenure; 3. believed to be the one first-year dean that Thames most wants to terminate.

due process < 1. important provision in the U.S. Constitution providing protection against tyrants; 2. superceded at USM by the will of the Dome Gnome.

Dvorak, Angeline < 1. currently the Vice President for Research and Economic Development at USM; 2. product of a Thames job search; 3. formerly a Tenured Associate Professor of English at the University of Kentucky, Lexington, KY; 4. clinches her fist and makes her eyes turn red when she gets mad; 5. will sue anyone who questions her credentials.

Dvorak, Mark < 1. husband of Angeline Dvorak and former law partner of John I. Hanbury; 2. currently the Director of Human Resources at USM; 3. product of a Thames job search; 4. before being hired as HR Director at USM, he sat around Angie’s house watching Live with Regis and Kelly and Oprah all day.

economic development < 1. Shelby Thames’ idea that all that USM is really good for is to serve the Pine Belt as a fiscal stimulus package (not as a center of higher learning); 2. made part of the university’s mission by current administration — one of the four corners (pillars) of the school’s existence; 3. of all the words/phrases in this glossary, if only one would never be heard from again in the post-Thames era, this would probably get the most votes.

Enterprise State Junior College < 1. one of two community/junior colleges where Angeline Dvorak got the requisite experience/training to hold a VP-position at a national university; 2. located in Enterprise, AL.

Faculty Senate < 1. official government body of the USM faculty; 2. represents USM faculty in governance matters; 3. Thames says they simply represent themselves (Neil McMillen quote).

FAR < 1. Faculty Activity Report; 2. brainstorm of Shelby Thames; 3. A voluminous document that does not probe at all into the quality of teaching by faculty, despite the fact that USM students are the president’s most prized possession.

FIA < 1. Freedom of Information Act; 2. federal statute giving citizens/taxpayers the right to explore goings on in public institutions, such as colleges/universities; 3. hundreds of these have recently been filed with USM, so many that Shelby Thames might have to do a Thames job search and hire a Director of Freedom of Information Act requests; 4. whenever a FIA is filed, Lisa Mader states to the media that the University has still not decided whether it will release requested information or not (i.e., they haven’t decided whether or not they will comply with federal law in this or that instance).

Fire Shelby < moderator of the website geocities.com/fireshelby.

firethames.com < 1. website devoted to "T-R-U-T-H," or "Thames Resign and Restore USM’s Trust and Honor"; 2. website ably run by "truth4usm."

Founder’s Day Celebration < 1. USM’s annual birthday party; 2. an important event for USM alumni and supporters; 3. President Shelby Thames was vacationing in Texas instead of celebrating Founder’s Day in 2004.

geocities.com/fireshelby < 1. website devoted to restoring academic integrity and excellence to the hallowed halls of the University of Southern Mississippi; 2. website ably run by Fire Shelby.

Glamser, Frank < 1. Professor of Anthropology and Sociology at USM, fired without due process; 2. product of a national job search decades ago; 3. fine scholar and individual; 4. has(d) tenure, but not Thames job insurance; 5. USM faculty and Faculty Senate both overwhemingly voted that they would rather have Frank Glamser as a colleague than Shelby Thames (statement attributed to Noel Polk).

Grimes, Jay < 1. former Provost of the Hattiesburg campus of USM; 2. became Provost at the Gulf Coast branch after successful cross-training Provosts program with Hattiesburg Provost Tim Hudson; 3. told numerous stories to the USM faculty about how the FAR was to be used by upper administrators.

Gulf Coast Community College < 1. one of two community/junior colleges where Angeline Dvorak got the requisite experience/training to hold a VP-position at a national university; 2. located in Panama City, FL, along the coastline of the "Redneck Riviera."

Hanbury, John I. < 1. currently the Director of Resources and Risk Management at USM; 2. product of a Thames job search; 3. formerly the director of 3 Kentucky companies listed in "bad standing" by the State of Kentucky in the mid/late 1990s; 4. failed lawyer, or else he would be practicing real law at a real, private sector law firm; 5. brought to USM by president Shelby Thames to carve legal bases for firing tenured USM faculty members; 6. author of the working draft of the faculty handbook; 7. Soon-to-be author of the newly drafted SGA Constitution under the auspices of SGA president Walt Cain; 8. "aka" Jack Hanbury.

Hartwig, Dr. and Mrs. Geoffrey < 1. Hattiesburg neurologist and wife that pulled significant amount of financial support from USM, and put it toward the Glamser-Stringer legal defense fund; 2. the Hartwig’s act of support came at one of the lowest points in the history of USM as an institution, and those who love USM will be forever grateful to them for it; 3. as Dr. Hartwig said, Shelby may have been a great faculty member/scientist, but this whole affair has moved way beyond paint and plastics.

The Hattiesburg American < 1. local newspaper; 2. offers schizophrenic editorials, one day supporting Thames and the next day admonishing his actions.

Henry, Myron < 1. current president of USM’s Faculty Senate; 2. publicly maligned and attacked in the media by the Thames-Mader press team for standing up to the dictator; 3. the Thames-Mader machine disingenuously supplied the media with Henry’s salary to make it seem as if "they pay" USM’s Faculty Senate President more than his Ole Miss/State counterpart is "paid" by their respective presidents.

Hollandsworth, Jim < 1. served USM quite well for many years in various upper level administrative capacities; 2. barred from teaching history at USM on solid grounds; 3. published 2-3 interesting history books, and was easily capable to contribute to that department (see Ken Malone for hypocrisy); 4. quietly departed USM recently.

Holmes, Bud < 1. pro-Thames citizen of Petal, MS; 2. coined the meaning behind the phrase turtle President.

Hood, Jim < 1. newly-elected Attorney General of MS who intervened in a non-neutral way to assist Shelby Thames in the upcoming Glamser-Stringer hearings; 2. did so by appointing Jackson lawyer Jim Keith to "ensure fairness," 3. fraudulent effort uncovered by geocities.com/fireshelby and Riva Brown.

Howell, Krandall < pro-Thames car salesman in McComb, MS.

Hub SGA < 1. name given to the USM student government association; 2. association of USM students elected by a majority of the USM student body to represent the concerns and issues of the Thames administration.

Hudson, Tim < 1. USM geographer and founding father of economic development program; 2. currently serves as Provost of the Hattiesburg campus, after successful cross-training Provosts program with USMGC Provost Jay Grimes; 3. vehemently disagrees with Thames’ decision to fire Glamser and Stringer without due process, though not enough to resign his post; 4. reportedly a finalist for the presidency of the University of Texas — Pan American; 5. reportedly still resides in the USMGC Provost’s home, after injecting it with about $100,000 worth of renovations last year; 5. on the day of the Glamser-Stringer firings, he was vacationing in Texas.

I Support Glamser and Stringer < 1. tags worn by USM faculty and students on a daily basis now; 2. becoming ubiquitous symbols of what USM has become under Thames.

IHL Board < 1. governing body of Institutions of Higher Learning in Mississippi; 2. seems to know little about "higher education," and even less about governing these days; 3. slim majority seems to pro-Thames all the way.

The Independent < 1. new weekly newspaper in Lamar County; 2. now the largest weekly newspaper in the state of Mississippi; 3. usually takes a harder line approach to the Thames administration than the Hattiesburg American, but doesn’t yet seem to have the resources necessary to do a Watergate-style series and finish the job; 4. if given the Hattiesburg American’s resources, it might be a real force in this whole mess.

Keith, Jim < 1. Jackson lawyer appointed by newly-elected Attorney General Jim Hood to "ensure fairness," in the upcoming Glamser-Stringer hearings; 2. fraudulent effort to effect "fairness" uncovered by geocities.com/fireshelby and Riva Brown.

Klumb, Roy < 1. Fordice appointee to the Mississippi IHL Board; 2. unconditionally supports the Thames administration in all its endeavors; 3. wouldn’t understand "conflict of interest" if it bit his bum.

Lassen, Gregg < 1. currently the Vice President for Financial Affairs at USM; 2. formerly Dean of Graduate Business Studies at the University of Phoenix (online university); 3. "retired" lobbyist at the age of 40; 4. failed politician in Texas and Utah; 5. a PhD student in USM’s own world-renown program in Economic Development; 6. product of a Thames job search.

Lott, Trent < 1. U.S. Senator from Mississippi; 2. persistently mocks the Thames administration (in the media) for not getting the Economic Development Center off the ground; 3. word on the street is that the Center is about to be moved to Oxford.

Lucas, Aubrey < 1. USM President preceding the Horace Flemming administration; 2. institutionalized the USM Faculty Senate, and let it "find its own level" (Neil McMillen); 3. will soon likely be, for the third time, USM President, and will use the occasion to even more solidify his important place in USM history.

Mader, Lisa < 1. android spokesperson, tows the company line; 2. got 14.4% raise this February for doing such a good job at it; 3. product of a Thames job search.

Mader math < 1. malleable mathematical operations used to more effectively flak for the administration you support; 2. e.g., enrollment grew by 4% from last fall to this fall, and it grew by 3% from last spring to this spring. In summary, our enrollment grew 7% last year.

Mahogany Bar < 1. bar connected to Crescent City/Purple Parrot; 2. watering hole frequented by the Dvoraks and the Hanburys (and Mader some times).

Malone, Ken < 1. currently chair of economic development department and Chief Operating Officer of USM Gulf Coast; 2. brings polymer science degree and a wealth (or dearth?) of academic experience to the job of department chair of a department in the business college; 3. formerly worked under his major professor, Shelby Thames, while a PhD student at USM (a Thames wunderkind); 4. product of a Thames job search; 5. wife also works at USM (another product of a Thames job search).

McCain, William < 1. USM President preceding Aubrey Lucas administration; 2. nicknamed "the General" for his iron-fisted leadership; 3. provided a leadership role model for Shelby Thames, during Thames’ formative years on the USM faculty.

McMillen, Neil < 1. retired USM professor of history; 2. outspoken critic of Thames administration; 3. eloquent speaker, a true wordsmith; 4. once a product of a national job search.

mid-year raises < 1. practice initiated by the Thames administration of giving raises in January instead of the beginning of the school year; 2. this practice makes it easier to conceal nepotism and cronyism, and allows for the secrecy that is necessary to "divide and conquer" the faculty (Neil McMillen quote).

Montague, Becky < 1. member of the USM Alumni Association Board; 2. wrote passionate and eloquent letter to state newspaper outlining the disastrous tenure of President Shelby Thames.

Moore, Chris < 1. Hub SGA senator who thought it a good idea to sponsor resolution in support of Angie Dvorak’s credentials and impressive resume; 2. he actually said to the media: who cares if she wasn’t a tenured associate professor of english at Kentucky, we didn’t hire her to be a faculty member, we hired her to be a vice president.

Moore, Cynthia < 1. current USM Associate Provost; 2. meteorically rose to prominence from a fashion merchandising faculty position to high-level administrator at USM.

my most prized possession < 1. phrase coined by USM President Shelby Thames to describe how he feels about USM students. In fact, the students are the focus of every decision he makes. Students are so close to his heart that he claims each and every one as a dependent on his annual 1040 form.

national job search < type of job search where resumes are sought from the best and brightest across the nation and the globe to fill an employment vacancy.

Nicholson, Carl < 1. Hattiesburg resident, and IHL Board member; 2. staunch pro-Thames figure; 3. as things are slipping away from Thames and his term is ending, Nicholson thinks he can go quietly into the night now.