Edited by Fire Shelby to add the following:

DISCLAIMER: THE FIRST TWO POSTS IN THIS THREAD ARE INTENDED AS SATIRE, WHICH SHOULD BE EVIDENT TO ANY INTELLIGENT PERSON WHO READS THIS BOARD.

Posted by someone PRETENDING to be Lynn Jeter, whose recent MBJ interview with Angie Dvorak was little more than a puff piece:

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Here's a pasting of a transcript of an intereview between the Mississippi Business Journal (news reporter Lynne Jeter) and President Thames, to come out in early June.

MBJ: Thank you for taking time out from your busy schedule to speak with us, President Thames.

SFT: Yes ma'am.

MBJ: Now that the hearings involving Professors Glamser and Stringer are over, ending when Judge Anderson called a halt to the testimony after you proved they had committed criminal acts, what is your take on these events and days at USM?

SFT: Well, as you know, it was never my intention to harm Professors Stringer and Glamser.  I got them removed from their offices, off our campus, which was my main goal.  Now that it looks like they committed crimes, and it did so to us very early on the investigation, they could end up in Parchman.  Because of that, I have sent my Department of Criminal Justice Chair Don Cabana back to Parchman as Superintendent to make sure the two Professors are treated fairly by the other inmates there.

MBJ: That you would have all this worked out beforehand, and you would think of [Glamser and Stringer] like that, speaks volumes.  Now that the hearings are concluded, do you believe USM's faculty will cease their insubordinate activities and work with you to take Southern Miss where it can go, where it should go?

SFT: I certainly hope so.  Enough time has passed, two years now I think, for them to get on board.  It is my sincere wish that they do so now.  The next phase of the game won't be so easy on them.  I have a meeting with the COO of our Gulf Coast operation, Mr. Ken Malone, this afternoon to plan that phase should it become necessary.  Yesterday I contacted the IHL Board and outlined the plan to them.  It got 11-to-1 support up there, not counting Jim Hood's affamation (sic) of it.  I think, with this plan behind me, we'll get on down the road.

MBJ: I noticed you ended your response by quoting wise old sage Paul "Bud" Holmes.  Where does he stand in all this?

SFT: Bud and I go way back.  He has alot of good ideas about higher education in general, and running a large public university in particular.  We have 750+ faculty over there and about 16,000 students.  With an operation that large, you want to seek advice from outside on occasion, and Bud has been there for me.  I just don't think it would be right at this juncture to disclose his particular thoughts on the matter.

MBJ: I understand completely, Dr. Thames, as I also understand the brilliance of tapping excellent sources of experience and wisdom in the local community, like Paul Holmes.  Tell me, what does the new designation of AG status given to your Risk Manager, Jack Hanbury, do to help resolve matters on campus?

SFT: I'm glad you asked that, I had feered (sic) you would not.  This is a special case, as you know, because there is another university attorney that sits on campus.  Jack will take over [the other attorney's] important duties, now that Jack has the AG status.  This is a more efficient organizational structure for us personally, we'll get legal matters dispensed with more effectively also.

MBJ: Dr. Thames, you mentioned another university attorney.  What is his name?

SFT: I'm not sure, ma'am.  You can check with Ms. Lisa Mader.

MBJ: Fair enough, I'll call Lisa at home tonight, although she's coming to my dinner party Friday night, I could ask her there.

SFT: You and Lisa know each other?  I didn't know that.  She's a great, great laady (sic).

MBJ: She is.  Now, Dr. Thames it has been reported in the media that some of your Deans are now acting grossly insubordinate.  What are you going to do about that?

SFT: This is an issue we really hope we can diffuse before it gets any bigger.  Jack Hanbury has informed the Deans of their insubordination via e-mail, and we have let them know that the ones who seek personal counsel will not fall under the umbrella of university legal protection.  That is, if there actions remain continuous and contiguous to Mr. Hanbury's memo notification, they could lose their jobs.

MBJ: Dr. Thames, it's clear to all of us in the media that had the USM faculty known about Glamser and Stringer's illegal use of Dr. Dvorak's Social Security Number (254-56-3987) --- her credentials are impeccable by the way, our magazine just did an investigative report on it --- that the vote would have gone much differently.  What do you think about that?

SFT: I agree holehartedly (sic).  I read your article with Dr. Dvorak yesterday --- that lady is impressive as you note, and is quite a joy to work with --- and it was well-done.  It confirmed some other things we know as well, such as Mark's (Dvorak's) sterling credentials to serve us in human resources.  One of the things we uncovered in our investigation was an aol IM chat between Myron Henry to one of his math students, whom I'll just refer to as "Student" if you don't mind, because I want to read that IM exchange to you.

MBJ: By all means, please do.

SFT: Student: Dr. Henry my name is "Student" (in your MAT XXX class) and I have just written a mathematical model that indicates that if all the profs had known that Glamser and Stringer had committed crimes, the faculty no confidence vote would have been 13-449 "against" no confidence, rather than the 430-32 vote "for" no confidence that actually occurred.  What should I do with this information.

Myron Henry: Bury it.  I'll see to it that you get a good letter of recommendation from Professors Wilson and Wilson-Kimber over in music.

Student: But I've already been accepted into the polymer science program here at USM.  The admissions committee chair told me in person yesterday, then asked me about the existence of [my model]. (readers, see next post....)