Dear USM Faculty:

If you are receiving this letter, you are a member of the USM tenured faculty club.  As such, you are required to provide the IHL Board, your boss, with information concerning post-tenure review.  I have spent countless hours developing the following questionnaire, and will appreciate you printing the document, completing it and mailing it to the IHL Board offices in Jackson.  The information you provide will be crucial in determining whether or not your contract will be renewed this Summer for the 2004-2005 academic year or thereafter.  Thank you so much for your time.

Sincerely,

Robin Robinson, Brand New Board Member

Post-Tenure Review Questionnaire

1. Have you been a member of the USM Chapter of the AAUP over the past 3 years?

     a. yes     b. no

2. How did you vote in the March 2004 faculty-wide "no confidence" vote concerning President Thames?

       a. "confidence"      b. "no confidence"

3. Approximately how much money have you donated to the Glamser-Stringer legal defense fund since its inception (i.e., since the profs committed the criminal acts)?

   a. $0     b. $1-$100    c. $100-$250    d. more than $250

4. How much money have you brought to USM in grants and contracts since the beginning of this year?

5. Is your answer to question #3 a larger or smaller monetary amount than your answer to question #4?

     a. larger      b. smaller

6. How many patents have you won for USM in the past 2 years?

    a. 0     b. 1     c. 2     d. more than 2

7. Are you boycotting the Crescent City Grill/Purple Parrot/Mahogany?

      a. yes    b. no

8. Don't you think that college professors are lazy and don't want to give a day's work for a day's pay?

       a. yes     b. no

9. Have you written any letters to area newspapers that are pro-administration (USM)?

     a. yes     b. no

10. Have you conducted an interview with a media outlet that was pro-administration in tone?

     a. yes     b. no

11. Have you written any letters to area newspapers that are anti-administration?

     a. yes     b. no

12. Have you conducted an interview with a media outlet that was anti-administration in tone?

     a. yes     b. no

13. Do you have a dome gnome magnet on your refrigerator at home?

      a. yes    b. no

14. What is your political affiliation?

     a. Republican    b. Democrat     c. other

15. Which of the following best describes what colleges and universities represent to you?

a. economic gold mines   b. refuge for lazy professionals

16. Now that the PC is such a success, are you finally willing to get behind President Thames as he leads USM to world class status?

       a. yes    b. no

17. Will you admit that you have been out to destroy the Presidency of Dr. Thames since the beginning?

       a. yes    b. no

Open ended questions

18. What is your pseudonym at geocities.com/fireshelby?

19. What is your SSN?

20. Who do you believe slid the "anonymous packet" under the door of former USM professor Frank Glamser?

21. Describe what you think Tim Hudson is doing behind the scenes to "get" Dr. Thames?

22. If Jack Hanbury were brought back to USM in a teaching capacity, how would you feel about it?

23. If Mark Dvorak were made risk manager with AG status, what would you think?

24. If Ken Malone were made Dean of the CBED, what would be the first thing that comes to your mind?

25. If you knew the IHL Board was trying to bring down USM, would you be willing to be quiet and not oppose it?