Dvorak’s incredulity < 1. on 3/16/2004, The Hattiesburg American published the following quote made by Angeline Dvorak regarding inclusion on her vita of the line tenured Associate Professor of English at the University of Kentucky, Lexington, KY: "Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought someone would interpret that I was trying to pass myself off as a person in the department of English at the University of Kentucky. I don’t even know where that department is. I’ve never even been there."; 2. this screams "pathological" (see the latest DSM); 3. if one is to believe Angeline Dvorak on this one, here is the moral of the story: if you ever interview someone who lists on their vita (or states the same) that they are a tenured Associate Professor of English at the University of Kentucky, Lexington, KY, please, for your own protection later, have 5 to 7 follow-up questions ready since words apparently don’t matter or mean anything in this instance. Here’s a starter: "Have you ever been to Lexington?" I think you can take it from there (and please feel free use more than 7 follow-up questions if the candidate is being peculiarly evasive about the matter; remember, the candidate may be an agent provacateur, so you want to protect yourself and your institution from him/her).

Gunther, William < 1. Professor of Economics at USM and former Dean of USM’s College of Business Adminstration; 2. one of the 9 USM deans terminated by Shelby Thames in the university restructuring plan (Gunther effectively got a raise out of the deal); 3. catalyst behind dome press conference in final days of his administration to announce pledge of over $5 million in gifts to fund new College of Business building. Arguably last positive thing to occur in the dome, and the whole event was likely very difficult for Thames to swallow, given that he had fired an individual (Gunther) who was favored very heavily by USM’s wealthiest business alums. Not likely, at this point, that these funds will ever materialize; 4. in recent days, Gunther, who has studied USM’s "brand," has pointed out that the value of USM’s brand has certainly been "diminished" by Thames’ presidency, and "repairing the school’s image will begin when Thames steps down as president" (see The Hattiesburg American 4/9/04).

Harris, Anthony < 1. former Assistant to the President of USM; 2. fired by Thames at the end of November in 2002; 3. was teaching a graduate course at the time, and asked Shelby Thames if he could complete the course, and was to no, leaving the students out in the cold (thus, Glamser and Stringer weren’t Glamsered or Stringered, they were Harrised).

missing Chinese lab techs < 1. story that hit the street earlier in the Thames presidency, alleging that Thames summarily fired a large number of Chinese (and other Asian) lab techs working in the College of Science and Technology (with one stroke of the pen), reportedly for communicating with one-another in their native languages on the lab floor during work hours. Many complained, to no avail apparently, that they were not notified prior to their termination that there was an English-only rule in the labs.

Mitchell, Danny < 1. Chairman and CEO of GodwinGroup; 2. supporter of Shelby Thames; 3. believes, through his research, that USM’s brand remains "robust" even through the current crises (see William Gunther for study reaching the opposite conclusion); 4. recently created USM’s athletics slogan, "Anyone, Anywhere, Anytime," which was null and void on the day it debuted in the Fall of 2003 when Jackson State football players noticed the signs around M.M. Roberts stadium as they were warming up for the opening game of the season, and they reminded reporters covering the game that USM refused to sign a contract to come to Jackson’s Memorial Stadium and play the Tigers in a rematch. So much for Danny Mitchell’s market research.