E

e-humor < reference to all of the funny pictures of Shelby Thames & Company on display at geocities.com/fireshelby.

economic development < 1. Shelby Thames’ idea that all that USM is really good for is to serve the Pine Belt as a fiscal stimulus package (not as a center of higher learning); 2. made part of the university’s mission by current administration — one of the four corners (pillars) of the school’s existence; 3. of all the words/phrases in this glossary, if only one would never be heard from again in the post-Thames era, this would probably get the most votes.

Economic Development department < 1. a collection of individuals trained in English, geography and polymer science offering online/Internet degrees in economics (someone please investigate and report back to Webster with info on what USM’s economists teach); 2. about to get a new $12 million crib, The Trent Lott National Center for Excellence in Economic Development and Entrepreneurship.

efficiency < 1. the quality or product of being efficient, which is acting or producing effectively with a minimum of waste, expense or unnecessary effort; 2. the ratio of the effective or useful output to the total input in any system; 3. what Shelby Thames was hired by the IHL Board to bring to day-to-day activities at USM. Two examples, regarding the two most high-profile employee terminations, show just how successful Thames has been. First, when all of USM’s deans were terminated in the university restructuring plan, which itself is still saving millions and millions of dollars (today) even over 1 year after its implementation, Thames placed a single ad in The Chronicle of Higher Education for 5 new deans, thus saving the expense of buying 5 separate ads (sheer genius). This was possible without hurting USM’s reputation (given that applicants might have inferred something scary since the single ad hinted at wholesale terminations/replacements) because USM’s "brand" is very "robust" with Thames at the helm (see Danny Mitchell). Second, Thames fired two professors, Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer, without involving his $145,000/yr. Provost Tim Hudson, who supposedly represents the administration in all of its academic affairs. It would have been a shame, in fact inefficient, to have also involved Tim Hudson when Thames’ risk manager and a cadre of un-named outside attorneys (who supposedly worked pro bono; pro bono=efficiency) already had the case on solid grounds, and Hudson’s involvement would have only increased the costs of the matter without altering its outcome. Examples of efficiency at USM abound. For more details, contact Lisa Mader in USM’s Public Relations department.

Enterprise State Junior College < 1. one of four community/junior colleges where Angeline Dvorak got the requisite experience/training to hold a VP-position at a national university; 2. located in Enterprise, AL.

Evans, Robert C. < 1. Professor of English, Auburn University at Montgomery; 2. supporter of Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer; 3. eloquent writer (many of his op-ed pieces have helped the cause).

Evil Shelboo < short-film portrayal of Shelby Thames on a black market digital video disc.

Exit 13 < 1981 book by Monte Piliawsky detailing corruption at USM during the William McCain era.

Exline, Joan < 1. Interim Dean of the College of Health at USM; 2. stated on several ocassions that she wanted badly to be Dean; 3. mysteriously withdrew her name from the hunt on 4/15/04, stating that some other "opportunities" had come up working with the healthcare industry that required her to be back on a 9-month contract at USM.

fact < 1. something that has been objectively verified; 2. something presented as objectively real; 3. something having real, demonstrable existence; 4. for Thames’ version, see solid grounds.

Faculty Senate < 1. official government body of the USM faculty; 2. represents USM faculty in governance matters; 3. Thames says they simply represent themselves (Neil McMillen quote).

FAR < 1. Faculty Activity Report; 2. brainstorm of Shelby Thames; 3. A voluminous document that does not probe at all into the quality of teaching by faculty, despite the fact that USM students are the president’s most prized possession.

Farris, R. Scott < 1. former Hattiesburg City Council member and big Thames ally; 2. thought Angeline Dvorak gave a good speech at JCJC in Ellisville; 3. member of the League of the South, group founded in 1994 to promote the "resurrection of a Southern nation" and a refusal to surrender to cultural genocide; 4. Farris is the official musician of the Mississippi Southern League; 5. see Thames Underworld; 6. see Farriswood.

Farriswood < "I had the privilege to hear Dr. [Angeline] Dvorak speak on [economic development] this past January at the very impressive Jones County Junior College Economic Development Symposium . . . . Although there were prominent officials . . . speaking . . . , she was, in my opinion, easily the most engaging, attractive and effective speaker . . . that day" (R. Scott Farris’ letter to several newspapers; italics added).

FIA < 1. Freedom of Information Act; 2. federal statute giving citizens/taxpayers the right to explore goings on in public institutions, such as colleges/universities; 3. hundreds of these have recently been filed with USM, so many that Shelby Thames might have to do a Thames job search and hire a Director of Freedom of Information Act requests; 4. whenever a FIA is filed, Lisa Mader states to the media that the University has still not decided whether it will release requested information or not (i.e., they haven’t decided whether or not they will comply with federal law in this or that instance).

15-1-11 < 1. recorded vote of Chris Moore’s resolution in the Hub SGA supporting Angeline Dvorak’s impeccable resume; 2. note the "overwhelming" show of "support" in the last two places (yea-nay-abstain) of the outcome, as stated by Chris Moore and Sarah Spigener.

Fire Shelby < moderator of the website geocities.com/fireshelby.

firethames.com < 1. website devoted to "T-R-U-T-H," or "Thames Resign and Restore USM’s Trust and Honor"; 2. website ably run by "truth4usm."

Fleming, Horace < 1. USM President preceding the second Aubrey Lucas administration; 2. offered a one-year contract renewal by the IHL Board, but chose to resign his post instead.

flog and blog < 1. flog: to beat severly with a whip or rod (also flogging). blog: weblog (or web log); a journal that is on the web (Internet), and updated with some regularity (a practice called blogging). 2. Since Spring of 2002, USM President Shelby Thames has been flogging away at USM’s reputation (see world class institution) through ill-advised actions (see agent provacateur) against its faculty, staff (the holocaust here is an untold, heartbreaking account, which will someday be known to all), students (see my most prized possession) and, ultimately, its alumni and financial supporters. On that day in March of 2004 when two professors (see Glamser and Stringer) were summarily fired on solid grounds evidence, these constituencies began blogging back. Today, there are two well-known anti-Thames blogs: geocities.com/fireshelby and firethames.com. The former has had 53,132 visitors since its inception (as of 4/10/04), while the latter has had 4,365 (unique) visitors since inception (as of 4/10/04). Add to these two, several blogs (e.g., Liberty & Power Group blog, blog.lordsutch.com, scott.littlemeanfish.com/blog, coldfury.com/Sasha, joehilldispatch.org, dast.freeshell.org/blog, and others) from around the globe that have joined the fray and are keeping their "eyes" (or blogs) on events in Hattiesburg. The world is watching and taking notice (see Bill Gunther, image problem, and Danny Mitchell and for discussion of "brand" and "image" aspects of the current crisis).

Forrest, Nathan Bedford < 1. Colonel in the Confederate Cavalry; 2. founder of the KKK; 3. see Colonel Nat.

40-0 < official result of USM Faculty Senate’s "no confidence in Shelby Thames" vote on the night of 3/7/04 (results reported as "no confidence"-"confidence").

Founder’s Day Celebration < 1. USM’s annual birthday party; 2. an important event for USM alumni and supporters; 3. President Shelby Thames was vacationing in Texas instead of celebrating Founder’s Day in 2004.

430-32 < official result of USM faculty-wide "no confidence in Shelby Thames" vote on the night of 3/10/04 (results reported as "no confidence"-"confidence").

Friends List < 1. list of Hattiesburg area business that have supported USM faculty in the current crisis; 2. list is circulating around campus community.

Garrett, Ricki < 1. member of the IHL Board; 2. Seemed to hold sway over the original decision to hire Thames as USM’s president. After the original IHL Board vote on Thames reportedly resulted in a deadlock — rumored to be a result of concerns Garrett and others had about Thames’ past indiscretions at work — Ricki Garrett is said to have called a meeting with Thames and the other IHL Board members, wherein she asked the famous question of him: "Are you a bootyologist?" When Thames replied, "Negatory..," she and a few other members fell in line supporting Thames’ candidacy. The rest is, as we know, history. 3. given the aforementioned story about Garrett, it’s clear she should never make any more big life decisions without consulting the advice of a much more sophisticated person (see Virginia Shanteau-Newton); 4. should hire fellow IHL Board member Virginia Shanteau-Newton as her "life coach" asap.

geocities.com/fireshelby < 1. website devoted to restoring academic integrity and excellence to the hallowed halls of the University of Southern Mississippi; 2. website ably run by Fire Shelby.

Glamser, Frank < 1. Professor of Anthropology and Sociology at USM, fired without due process; 2. product of a national job search decades ago; 3. fine scholar and individual; 4. has(d) tenure, but not Thames job insurance; 5. USM faculty and Faculty Senate both overwhemingly voted that they would rather have Frank Glamser as a colleague than Shelby Thames (statement attributed to Noel Polk).

Glamser-Stringer Legal Defense Fund < 1. fund set up by supporters of Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer to provide legal support for these two embattled professors; 2. generous show of support for the fund was made by Dr. and Mrs. Geoffrey Hartwig shortly after the professors were fired.

GodwinGroup < 1. public relations firm working for USM; 2. rumor has it that GodwinGroup is one of a few firms to be awarded contract work from USM without having to go through a competitive bid process (see Phil Bryant).

grants and contracts < 1. financial support, from government/private sector, of university research; 2. USM gathers about $70 million/year in grants and contracts; 3. not much mention ever by Thames administration about what is being researched and/or why the subject of study is important to the world, only how much money USM is bringing in; 4. a virtual playground (at USM) for Phil Bryant.

Grimes, Jay < 1. former Provost of the Hattiesburg campus of USM; 2. became Provost at the Gulf Coast branch after successful cross-training Provosts program with Hattiesburg Provost Tim Hudson; 3. told numerous stories to the USM faculty about how the FAR was to be used by upper administrators.

Gulf Coast Community College < 1. one of four community/junior colleges where Angeline Dvorak got the requisite experience/training to hold a VP-position at a national university; 2. located in Panama City, FL, along the coastline of the "Redneck Riviera."

Gulfport V.A. Hospital < 1. Veteran’s Administration hospital in Gulfport suffering financial woes; 2. hospital that Thames impetuously sought to acquire for USM, before being rebuffed by the IHL Board.

Gunther, William < 1. Professor of Economics at USM and former Dean of USM’s College of Business Adminstration; 2. one of the 9 USM deans terminated by Shelby Thames in the university restructuring plan (Gunther effectively got a raise out of the deal); 3. catalyst behind dome press conference in final days of his administration to announce pledge of over $5 million in gifts to fund new College of Business building. Arguably last positive thing to occur in the dome, and the whole event was likely very difficult for Thames to swallow, given that he had fired an individual (Gunther) who was favored very heavily by USM’s wealthiest business alums. Not likely, at this point, that these funds will ever materialize; 4. in recent days, Gunther, who has studied USM’s "brand," has pointed out that the value of USM’s brand has certainly been "diminished" by Thames’ presidency, and "repairing the school’s image will begin when Thames steps down as president" (see The Hattiesburg American 4/9/04).

Halstead, J. Phillip < 1. newly-hired figure head of the ADP, which is evidently now being run by Shelby Thames; 2. old friend of Shelby Thames; 3. polymers specialist, wants the ADP to work closely with USM, but only with its Polymer Science Department, to grow Hattiesburg.

Hamer, Fannie Lou < 1. famed Mississippi civil rights leader; 2. made famous the phrase, "I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired"; 3. phrase getting renewed popularity in current crisis through speech by USM history professor Doug Chambers at first anti-Thames rally.

Hamm, Blake < 1. first Hub SGA President to serve during the Thames administration; 2. got cozy enough with the Thames-Mader team in the dome to miraculously win the commencement speaker lottery his senior year; 3. questions swirled (at the time) as to whether or not he was even graduating with those he was speaking to, or later in the Summer semester.

Hanbury, John I. < 1. currently the Director of Resources and Risk Management at USM; 2. product of a Thames job search; 3. formerly the director of 3 Kentucky companies listed in "bad standing" by the State of Kentucky in the mid/late 1990s; 4. failed lawyer, or else he would be practicing real law at a real, private sector law firm; 5. brought to USM by president Shelby Thames to carve legal bases for firing tenured USM faculty members; 6. author of the working draft of the faculty handbook; 7. Soon-to-be author of the newly drafted SGA Constitution under the auspices of SGA president Walt Cain; 8. "aka" Jack Hanbury.

Hardy Street High < 1. reference to USM affectionately used by Ole Miss and State supporters; 2. insult of USM hurled by Ole Miss/State supporters that Shelby Thames has actually managed to lend credence to.

Harris, Anthony < 1. former Assistant to the President of USM; 2. fired by Thames at the end of November in 2002; 3. was teaching a graduate course at the time, and asked Shelby Thames if he could complete the course, and was told no, leaving the students out in the cold (thus, Glamser and Stringer weren’t Glamsered or Stringered, they were Harrised).

Hartwig, Dr. and Mrs. Geoffrey < 1. Hattiesburg neurologist and wife who pulled significant amount of financial support from USM, and put it toward the Glamser-Stringer legal defense fund; 2. the Hartwig’s act of support came at one of the lowest points in the history of USM as an institution, and those who love USM will be forever grateful to them for it; 3. as Dr. Hartwig said, Shelby may have been a great faculty member/scientist, but this whole affair has moved way beyond paint and plastics.

The Hattiesburg American < 1. local newspaper; 2. offers schizophrenic editorials, one day supporting Thames and the next day admonishing his actions.

Henry, Myron < 1. current president of USM’s Faculty Senate; 2. publicly maligned and attacked in the media by the Thames-Mader press team for standing up to the dictator; 3. the Thames-Mader machine disingenuously supplied the media with Henry’s salary to make it seem as if "they pay" USM’s Faculty Senate President more than his Ole Miss/State counterpart is "paid" by their respective presidents.; 4. USM Provost under Horace Fleming.

Hewes, Billy < 1. Ward 7 Councilman of Gulfport City Council; 2. real estate agent in Gulfport; 3. big supporter of Golden Eagle athletics; 4. big supporter of Shelby Thames; 5. Pushed through a resolution in the Gulfport City Council in support of Thames in April of ‘04; 6. espouses some very intolerant social views (do your own Google search); 7. advocate of branding the foreheads of gays and lesbians; 8. sits on the "day’s work for a day’s pay" side of the current crises at USM; 9. advocate/proponent of Thames authority (actually gave meaning to the governance phrase when he said, "We [USM] need people [faculty] who are going to have some respect for [Thames’] authority." {HA 4/9/04}); 10. supports flying the Confederate battle flag on public grounds; 11. invited by his good friend Shelby Thames to address the USMGC graduating class of ‘04; 11. see Thames Underworld.

Hollandsworth, Jim < 1. served USM quite well for many years in various upper level administrative capacities; 2. barred from teaching history at USM on solid grounds; 3. published 2-3 interesting history books, and was easily capable to contribute to that department (see Ken Malone for hypocrisy); 4. quietly departed USM recently.

Holmes, Paul "Bud" < 1. pro-Thames citizen of Petal, MS; 2. coined the meaning behind the phrase turtle President; 3. had very problematic professional legal career; 4. As U.S. Senator Herb Kohl of Wisconsin stated from the floor of the U.S. Senate during the Impeachment Trial of Judge Walter Nixon in 1989: "It’s very easy to understand why ["Bud"] Holmes did not bring up the discussions . . . He’d done some very bad things . . . to make Judge Nixon look good to Wiley Fairchild . . ."; 5. supports Thames authority; 6. see Thames Underworld.

Honor House Rally < 1. pro-Thames rally held outside USM’s Honor House just days after the first anti-Thames rally at the dome; 2. attended mainly by USM football coaches (who looked on tv to be absolutely "thrilled" to be there) and a few local business people.

Honors Forum < 1. Honors College-sponsored events attended by Nobel Prize-winning scientists, Pulitzer Prize-winning writers, and other international luminaries; 2. cancelled at the end of 2003-2004 by Shelby Thames, on advice of cronies, for not contributing to USM’s quest to be a world class university ("practical arts" institution).

Hood, Jim < 1. newly-elected Attorney General of MS who intervened in a non-neutral way to assist Shelby Thames in the upcoming Glamser-Stringer hearings; 2. did so by appointing Jackson lawyer Jim Keith to "ensure fairness," 3. fraudulent effort uncovered by geocities.com/fireshelby and Riva Brown.

Howell, Krandall < 1. pro-Thames car salesman in McComb, MS; 2. big supporter (along with his wife) of Thames authority.

Hub SGA < 1. name given to the USM student government association; 2. association of USM students elected by a majority of the USM student body to represent the concerns and issues of the Thames administration.

Hudson, Tim < 1. USM geographer and founding father of economic development program; 2. currently serves as Provost of the Hattiesburg campus, after successful cross-training Provosts program with USMGC Provost Jay Grimes; 3. vehemently disagrees with Thames’ decision to fire Glamser and Stringer without due process, though not enough to resign his post; 4. a finalist for the presidencies of the University of Texas — Pan American and Slippery Rock (4/04); 5. reportedly still resides in the USMGC Provost’s home, after injecting it with about $100,000 worth of renovations last year; 5. on the day of the Glamser-Stringer firings, he was vacationing in Texas; 6. see also Shelby in the Schoolhouse Door.

Huff, Amber < 1. courageous student activist; 2. USM student fighting to restore integrity to institution.

human error < what a Shelby Thames calls a "mistake" made by a mid-level administrator who is asked by upper administration to do something bad, though he does so only after the public finds out about it and the whole scheme falls apart.