AG status < 1. legal status given to a university attorney by the Attorney General of Mississippi, effectively placing a university attorney within the administrative structure of the Attorney General’s office, and not within the university itself; 2. long-standing status held by Lee Gore at USM; 3. status that thwarted Shelby Thames’ early attempt to fire Lee Gore, the university attorney at USM; 4. status given to Jack Hanbury by the quiz-kid Jim Hood (MS Attorney General) so that Shelby Thames’ testimony (during the Glamser-Stringer hearings) that Hanbury was the university attorney would actually be a truthful statement, only retroactively so; 5. status given to Jack Hanbury by Jim Hood for Hanbury’s tireless efforts at e-mail surveillance.

computer seizure < 1. term referring to (in normal use) occasion when a computer hard-drive locks-up, seizes, or stops working, and its operator must "Ctrl+Alt+Del" and start over; 2. at USM, reference to Thames authority policy of seizing faculty computers without notice and for any reason (see iTech).

continuous and contiguous < 1. phrase used during the Glamser-Stringer hearings by Shelby Thames to describe his view that Stringer’s Summer 2003 investigation of Angeline Dvorak was not part of (continuous and contiguous to) the investigation of her done by the AAUP in the Winter of 2004, and therefore constituted an unethical and possible criminal act (Thames’ characterization) by Gary Stringer; 2. phrase used in/slipped into Glamser-Stringer hearings by Shelby Thames (see bootyologist) to impress the ladies in attendance, especially Jill Beneke and Cynthia Moore (Thames is such a playa; don’t hate the playa, hate the game!). [guest Glossary entry partially by hellgirl]

e-mail < 1. electronic letter/message between two or more computer terminals; 2. at USM, an electronic text between two unsuspecting parties that may likely be read to the public by Shelby Thames in a legal proceeding or at a cocktail party. [guest Glossary entry partially by friend]

e-mail perverts < 1. married, middle-aged and/or elderly men (see Jack Hanbury and Shelby Thames) sitting in the Aubrey K. Lucas Administration Building (with six-figure salaries) intercepting and reading e-mails written by 20-year old female coeds (see Rachel Quinlivan).

e-mail surveillance < 1. intercepting/reading e-mails between two (or more) other parties, requiring the use of expensive, military-grade electronic equipment (see e-mail and iTech); 2. pastime of Shelby Thames and Jack Hanbury since (at least) January of 2004, if not much, much sooner (see e-mail perverts) ;

Glamser-Stringer Hearings < 1. scheduled to be held April 28-29, 2004, but started late and lasted only about 2.5 hours, after former Supreme Court Justice Reuben Anderson halted the embarrassment being caused by the walking, talking , blithering idiot; 2. resulted in a settlement after a 3 hour working lunch between the two parties and Reuben Anderson (see Glamser-Stringer settlement).

Glamser-Stringer settlement < 1. settlement between Frank Glamser/Gary Stringer and USM president Shelby Thames brokered by former Supreme Court Justice Reuben Anderson; 2. settlement specifies that (a) the university will discontinue termination of the professors, allowing them to collect their personal/scholarly property from their offices in a reasonable period of time; (b) the university recommends that Angeline Dvorak not pursue litigation against the two professors, but cannot prevent her from doing so if she desires; (c) USM will pay salaries of two professors through the end of the 2005-2006 school year; (d) USM will allow two professors to discontinue their status as professors and convert to consultants at any time during their final two years with the university; (e) USM agrees to support the Donne Variorum during the two years, and will not oppose its move to another university if Gary Stringer wishes to move it; (f) USM will not provide the two professors with offices or supplies, and the professors will not have any teaching duties in their final two years; (g) neither side will publicly malign the other, and the two professors may not criticize the university during the two-year agreement.

Gore, Lee < 1. university attorney at USM (competent, long-standing); 2. with the designation of AG status for Jack Hanbury (given by Jim Hood) on 4/30/2004, a man that now sits in solitary confinement at USM, surfing the Net and engaging in other in-office hobbies.

matter concluded < 1. famous last words of Reuben Anderson on 4/28/2004 (see Glamser-Stringer hearings); 2. shout out to Justice Anderson: "not by a long shot..."; 3. memo to Justice Anderson: no quarter.

no quarter < 1. (wartime) phrase meaning "no accommodating the enemy"; 2. new rallying cry for anti-Thames forces. [guest Glossary entry by present professor]

private e-mail < 1. type of e-mail transmission that is protected from view by those not intended to be party to the message/conversation; 2. the "baseball, hot dogs apple pie, and mom" of an American university that wants to make a difference in the world; 3. activity down-sized at USM by Shelby Thames on solid grounds due to inefficiency.

Thames Trickeration < 1. Thames administration strategy of making big announcements/plans, that it has no intention and/or ability to follow-through upon, to divert attention away from how bad things really are around campus. 2. examples of the strategy include announcements/plans related to expanding M.M. Roberts Stadium, building an over (or under) pass at the Elam Arms intersection of Hardy Street for students to cross safely, renovating the Albertson’s Building for the Nursing School, renovating/adding box seating to Reed Green Coliseum, renovating old Hattiesburg High School and moving the Department of Art downtown, building a tennis complex for USM’s varsity tennis teams, assuming control of the Gulfport V.A. Hospital and integrating it into the College of Health, building a U.S. Olympic training facility, getting USM’s enrollment to 20,000 within his first 4/5 years as president, building an innovation/research park on top of the old Van Hook Golf Course, and taking Southern Miss to the top!

university attorney < 1. legal counsel for a college/university that, in Mississippi, works within the hierarchy of the Attorney General’s office; 2. job held seemingly forever by the competent Lee Gore; 3. job given to USM’s Risk Manager Jack Hanbury in conjunction with the Glamser-Stringer settlement by MS Attorney General Jim Hood for Hanbury’s fine e-mail surveillance work.

USM’s Golden Opportunity < 1. reference to quiz-kid Jim Hood’s quote on the day of the Glamser-Stringer settlement: "I think Southern Mississippi is on the brink of an opportunity like no other university you’ve ever seen in the past 20 years."; 2. Wow! Seems to indicate he would like to see president of his alma mater fire some people without due process so it can stand in the doorway of such a wonderful opportunity also — why let USM have all the fun and get all the glory?; 3. As a matter of fact, Harvard’s president is reportedly considering the same thing so it can get to that wonderful fork in the road as well; 4. thought that logically leads one to conclude that America owes Japan a debt of gratitude for bombing Pearl Harbor because it prodded us to make some needed physical upgrades to the naval installation there that for whatever reason we hadn’t been dedicated to making before 12/7/1941.