bogus charade < Rob McDuff’s characterization (term coined in opening statement) of the case put together by Shelby Thames and Jim Keith for firing Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer. [guest Glossary entry partially by hellgirl]

Buckley Amendment < 1. federal statute prohibiting unauthorized release of confidential information about students, usually pertaining to release of grades, GPA, and other records (see also violation of the Buckley Amendment).

FIHL Board < 1. F#c&i*g Institutions of Higher Learning Board of Mississippi; 2. term reportedly used by Gary Stringer (right on Gary, right on!) in a private e-mail that was uncovered by e-mail surveillance at USM by Shelby Thames and Jack Hanbury (Shelby Thames testified using the term during the Glamser-Stringer hearings). [guest Glossary entry partially by hellgirl]

Fire Shelby Exclusives < investigative reports produced by Fire Shelby and posted on geocities.com/fireshelby.

locksmith < 1. one who makes or repairs locks; 2. one of Shelby Thames’ most prized possessions; 3. a professional used heavily at USM by Shelby Thames and Jack Hanbury in preserving the integrity, credibility, and stability of USM.

Mississippi State University < 1. public, land-grant university in Starkville, MS, founded in 1878; 2. the largest university in the State of Mississippi, despite phantom students reported by Shelby Thames and USM (in the Fall of 2004).

Pepper, Phil < 1. Economist for State of Mississippi; 2. sent to USM by the IHL Board to study the problem of phantom students and human error that gave USM the false status of largest university in the State of Mississippi; 3. authored report on human error and phantom students at USM that did not exonerate the actions of Shelby Thames and his administrative staff (see Susan Siltanen).

polymer < any of numerous natural and synthetic compounds of usually high molecular weight consisting of up to millions of repeated linked units, each a relatively light and simple molecule.

polymer university < 1. a university concerned only with any of numerous natural and synthetic compounds of usually high molecular weight consisting of up to millions of repeated linked units, each a relatively light and simple molecule; 2. a university that thinks the liberal arts represent a waste of time and money.

violation of the Buckley Amendment < 1. unauthorized release of confidential student records, such as individual test grades, course grades, transcripts, GPA, etc.; 2. according to Shelby Thames, (1) saying in an e-mail you’ve seen a student hanging around campus, taking classes for the past 7 years, (2) saying in an e-mail that certain named students came out of Professor Y’s exam session looking distressed, (3) saying in an e-mail that a certain named student went to Jones County Junior College before enrolling at USM, and/or (4) saying in an e-mail that a certain named student is a first-generation college student are all examples of violations of this Amendment.

wireless telecomm companies < 1. private-sector companies offering wireless telecommunications service, usually known as cellular phone service (e.g., Sprint, AT&T Wireless, Alltell, Cellular South, Cingular, Verizon, etc.); 2. companies about to experience a large windfall in the Hattiesburg area given Shelby Thames’ use of iTech to monitor faculty phone use.

witch hunt < Shelby Thames’ characterization of the investigation of Angeline Dvorak by Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer (term used by Thames in testimony during Glamser-Stringer hearings).