H

Halstead, J. Phillip < 1. newly-hired figure head of the ADP, which is evidently now being run by Shelby Thames; 2. old friend of Shelby Thames; 3. polymers specialist, wants the ADP to work closely with USM, but only with its Polymer Science Department, to grow Hattiesburg.

Hamer, Fannie Lou < 1. famed Mississippi civil rights leader; 2. made famous the phrase, "I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired"; 3. phrase getting renewed popularity in current crisis through speech by USM history professor Doug Chambers at first anti-Thames rally.

Hamm, Blake < 1. first Hub SGA President to serve during the Thames administration; 2. got cozy enough with the Thames-Mader team in the dome to miraculously win the commencement speaker lottery his senior year; 3. questions swirled (at the time) as to whether or not he was even graduating with those he was speaking to, or later in the Summer semester.

Hammond, Rick A. < 1. former executive editor of The Student Printz (during Aubrey K. Lucas’ administration); 2. stated in a 5/4/04 Guest Column in The Student Printz that Shelby Thames "needs to be removed [from the presidency] for the good of USM, its students, faculty and alumni."

Hanbury, John I. < 1. currently the Director of Resources and Risk Management at USM; 2. product of a Thames job search; 3. formerly the director of 3 Kentucky companies listed in "bad standing" by the State of Kentucky in the mid/late 1990s; 4. failed lawyer, or else he would be practicing real law at a real, private sector law firm; 5. brought to USM by president Shelby Thames to carve legal bases for firing tenured USM faculty members; 6. author of the working draft of the faculty handbook; 7. Soon-to-be author of the newly drafted SGA Constitution under the auspices of SGA president Walt Cain; 8. "aka" Jack Hanbury; 9. given AG status by Jim Hood in conjunction with the Glamser-Stringer settlement for his tireless efforts at e-mail surveillance; 10. fired on 5/6/2004, just 7 days after getting AG status.

Hardy Street High < 1. reference to USM affectionately used by Ole Miss and State supporters; 2. insult of USM hurled by Ole Miss/State supporters that Shelby Thames has actually managed to lend credence to.

Harris, Anthony < 1. former Assistant to the President of USM; 2. fired by Thames at the end of November in 2002; 3. was teaching a graduate course at the time, and asked Shelby Thames if he could complete the course, and was told no, leaving the students out in the cold (thus, Glamser and Stringer weren’t Glamsered or Stringered, they were Harrised).

Hartwig, Dr. and Mrs. Geoffrey < 1. Hattiesburg neurologist and wife who pulled significant amount of financial support from USM, and put it toward the Glamser-Stringer legal defense fund; 2. the Hartwig’s act of support came at one of the lowest points in the history of USM as an institution, and those who love USM will be forever grateful to them for it; 3. as Dr. Hartwig said, Shelby may have been a great faculty member/scientist, but this whole affair has moved way beyond paint and plastics.

The Hattiesburg American < 1. local newspaper; 2. offers schizophrenic editorials, one day supporting Thames and the next day admonishing his actions.

help Shelby find his talent < what USM professor David Berry hopes the new IHL Board will do (statement made by Berry to WDAM following his one man demonstration on 5/7/04).

Henry, Myron < 1. current president of USM’s Faculty Senate; 2. publicly maligned and attacked in the media by the Thames-Mader press team for standing up to the dictator; 3. the Thames-Mader machine disingenuously supplied the media with Henry’s salary to make it seem as if "they pay" USM’s Faculty Senate President more than his Ole Miss/State counterpart is "paid" by their respective presidents.; 4. USM Provost under Horace Fleming.

Hewes, Billy < 1. Ward 7 Councilman of Gulfport City Council; 2. real estate agent in Gulfport; 3. big supporter of Golden Eagle athletics; 4. big supporter of Shelby Thames; 5. Pushed through a resolution in the Gulfport City Council in support of Thames in April of ‘04; 6. espouses some very intolerant social views (do your own Google search); 7. advocate of branding the foreheads of gays and lesbians; 8. sits on the "day’s work for a day’s pay" side of the current crises at USM; 9. advocate/proponent of Thames authority (actually gave meaning to the governance phrase when he said, "We [USM] need people [faculty] who are going to have some respect for [Thames’] authority." {HA 4/9/04}); 10. supports flying the Confederate battle flag on public grounds; 11. invited by his good friend Shelby Thames to address the USMGC graduating class of ‘04; 11. see Thames Underworld.

Hewitt, Andrea < 1. heroic fighter for "T-R-U-T-H" (see firethames.com); 2. see truth4usm; 3. see petitiononline.com/usmtruth/petition.html.

Historic Hattiesburg Downtown Association < 1. A dedicated group of volunteer citizens consisting of local residents, professionals and officials who are putting the "wheels into motion" for the historic development of downtown Hattiesburg (see downtownhattiesburg.com); 2.another local civic/business organization becoming uncomfortably close/attached to the Thames administration at USM.

Hollandsworth, Jim < 1. served USM quite well for many years in various upper level administrative capacities; 2. barred from teaching history at USM on solid grounds; 3. published 2-3 interesting history books, and was easily capable to contribute to that department (see Ken Malone for hypocrisy); 4. quietly departed USM recently; 5. has written many eloquent and inspiring essays for geocities.com/fireshelby.

Holmes, Paul "Bud" < 1. pro-Thames citizen of Petal, MS; 2. coined the meaning behind the phrase turtle President; 3. had very problematic professional legal career; 4. As U.S. Senator Herb Kohl of Wisconsin stated from the floor of the U.S. Senate during the Impeachment Trial of Judge Walter Nixon in 1989: "It’s very easy to understand why ["Bud"] Holmes did not bring up the discussions . . . He’d done some very bad things . . . to make Judge Nixon look good to Wiley Fairchild . . ."; 5. supports Thames authority; 6. see Thames Underworld.

Honor House Rally < 1. pro-Thames rally held outside USM’s Honor House just days after the first anti-Thames rally at the dome; 2. attended mainly by USM football coaches (who looked on tv to be absolutely "thrilled" to be there) and a few local business people.

Honors Forum < 1. Honors College-sponsored events attended by Nobel Prize-winning scientists, Pulitzer Prize-winning writers, and other international luminaries; 2. cancelled at the end of 2003-2004 by Shelby Thames, on advice of cronies, for not contributing to USM’s quest to be a world class university ("practical arts" institution).

Hood, Jim < 1. newly-elected Attorney General of MS who intervened in a non-neutral way to assist Shelby Thames in the upcoming Glamser-Stringer hearings; 2. did so by appointing Jackson lawyer Jim Keith to "ensure fairness," 3. fraudulent effort uncovered by geocities.com/fireshelby and Riva Brown; 4. seem to handle the Glamser-Stringer settlement in a non-neutral way, favoring Thames; 5. he’s no Mike Moore (former MS Attorney General); 6. promoted USM Risk Manager Jack Hanbury to AG Status (and, thus, to university attorney) for his fine work on the e-mail surveillance.

Howell, Krandall < 1. pro-Thames car salesman in McComb, MS; 2. big supporter (along with his wife) of Thames authority.

Hub SGA < 1. name given to the USM student government association; 2. association of USM students elected by a majority of the USM student body to represent the concerns and issues of the Thames administration.

Hudson, Tim < 1. USM geographer and founding father of economic development program; 2. currently serves as Provost of the Hattiesburg campus, after successful cross-training Provosts program with USMGC Provost Jay Grimes; 3. vehemently disagrees with Thames’ decision to fire Glamser and Stringer without due process, though not enough to resign his post; 4. a finalist for the presidencies of the University of Texas — Pan American and Slippery Rock (4/04); 5. reportedly still resides in the USMGC Provost’s home, after injecting it with about $100,000 worth of renovations last year; 5. on the day of the Glamser-Stringer firings, he was vacationing in Texas; 6. see also Shelby in the Schoolhouse Door.

Huff, Amber < 1. courageous student activist; 2. USM student fighting to restore integrity to institution.

human error < what a Shelby Thames calls a "mistake" made by a mid-level administrator who is asked by upper administration to do something bad, though he does so only after the public finds out about it and the whole scheme falls apart.

I always finish what I start < Angeline Dvorak’s response to the media when questioned if she still plans to sue those who questioned her credentials/resume.

I Support Glamser and Stringer < 1. tags worn by USM faculty and students on a daily basis now; 2. becoming ubiquitous symbols of what USM has become under Thames.

If change is good then change it back < chant used by nursing students at a dome rally expressing discontent with the elimination of the College of Nursing through the university restructuring plan that was announced in 2003.

IHL Board < 1. governing body of Institutions of Higher Learning in Mississippi; 2. seems to know little about "higher education," and even less about governing these days; 3. slim majority seems to pro-Thames all the way.

IHL yahoo < a crude or brutish IHL Board member (e.g., Roy Klumb).

I’m not a walking, talking, blithering idiot < 1. statement made by Shelby Thames at a Faculty Senate meeting in September of 2002 in response to a question relating to whether he knew the difference between evaluating the study of John Milton and evaluating the study of environmentally-friendly paint; 2. Shelby Thames’ actual response: "I would hope you can look at me and understand I’m not a walking, talking, blithering idiot. I understand there’s a difference in teaching and research in the arts, the sciences."; 3. USM faculty "looked at" Thames for another 18 months, and in March of 2004, voted 430-32 against the understanding that he was not "a walking, talking, blithering idiot."

image problem < how Lisa Mader characterizes the nuclear wasteland USM is quickly becoming.

Impeach Thames < 1. popular sign/sticker slogan visible around USM and at anti-Thames rallies; 2. slogan on bumper stickers that made their first appearance shortly after Thames’ installment as USM President.

The Independent < 1. new weekly newspaper in Lamar County; 2. now the largest weekly newspaper in the state of Mississippi; 3. usually takes a harder line approach to the Thames administration than the Hattiesburg American, but doesn’t yet seem to have the resources necessary to do a Watergate-style series and finish the job; 4. if given the Hattiesburg American’s resources, it might be a real force in this whole mess.

IRGU4U < license plate on Jack Hanbury’s BMW.

iTech < 1. information/technology department of USM; 2. USM department charged with monitoring employee phone and Internet usage (by any means necessary).

Jackson State Community College < one of four community/junior colleges where Angeline Dvorak got the requisite experience/training to hold a VP-position at a national university; 2. located in Jackson, TN.

James, Ron < 1. President and CEO of the Minneapolis Center for Ethical Business Cultures; 2. said that full disclosure should be made about an employer’s Internet and e-mail policies so that a transparent organization is created.

Java Werks < 1. gourmet coffee house across Hardy Street from USM; 2. coffee house that often serves as staging ground (for CSUSM) before anti-Thames rallies that take place on USM’s campus; 3. has good credentials for the Friends List.

Jeter, Lynne W. < 1. contributing "writer" with the Mississippi Business Journal and with Pointe Innovation Magazine, a science and technology publication reportedly founded by Angeline Dvorak. Conducted so-called interview with Angeline Dvorak that was published in the Mississippi Business Journal.

job snowball < 1. practice of the Thames administration of awarding, usually to cronies, numerous job titles/responsibilities to a single person; 2. best exemplified by Ken Malone, currently the chair of the economic development department, the Director of Business Venture Development, and the Chief Operating Officer of USMGC; 3. Susan Siltanen had a small job snowball until the Fall of 2003, when she committed the unthinkable human error with the phantom students that cost her one of the two administration titles/responsibilities she held at the time. [winning entry in webster’s Glossary contest, submitted by truth4usm]

Jones, Annette < 1. retired faculty member, Towson State University, now residing in Laurel; 2. brought in to cover Frank Glamser’s uncovered (after several class meetings) sociology course; 3. has the full support of Arts and Letters Dean Elliott Pood.

Keith, Jim < 1. Jackson lawyer appointed by newly-elected Attorney General Jim Hood to "ensure fairness," in the upcoming Glamser-Stringer hearings; 2. fraudulent effort to effect "fairness" uncovered by geocities.com/fireshelby and Riva Brown.

Kelly, Marjorie < 1. Publisher of Business Ethics; 2. says the whole issue of employee privacy is larger than most people realize, and that monitoring employees’ e-mail traffic is an invasion of civil liberties on the same order of videotaping or monitoring phone calls; 3. says that a public university such as USM should not monitor e-mail traffic in the same way private companies do given the idea that there’s a higher level of collegiality in a university, as well as an assumption that the faculty are the institution and the issue of academic freedom separates universities from businesses.

Kinney, Terry < 1. professor of human performance and recreation at USM; 2. given terminal contract in late October of 2003; 3. is suing Shelby Thames and other USM administrators in U.S. District Court for violating a prior agreement to award him tenure (seeking $2 million in damages).

Kleinpeter, Conrad < 1. pro-Thames resident of Petal, and 1957 business graduate from USM; 2. was astounded to learn that Gary Stringer had written over 10,000 pages of text about the 200 poems produced by John Donne (see Donne Variorum); 3. wants USM constituents to "let ...[Thames] lead!" (5/5/04 letter to The Hattiesburg American); 4. butchered a famous quote of President Coolidge in his May 2004 letter to the HA. [guest Glossary entry partially by indy eagle]

Klumb, Roy < 1. Fordice appointee to the Mississippi IHL Board; 2. unconditionally supports the Thames administration in all its endeavors; 3. wouldn’t understand "conflict of interest" if it bit his bum; 4. famous for smirking at CSUSM at open IHL Board Members (Roy, please excuse us if our cynicism is showing); 5. Huge proponent of Thames authority; 6. see IHL yahoo.

Konz, Antoinette < 1. reporter for The Hattiesburg American; 2. probes much deeper into USM crisis stories than her cohort Janet Braswell.

LAB Lobby table < 1. table set up in the Lobby of USM’s Liberal Arts Building, run by the CSUSM; 2. distributes anti-Thames items, many of which are free-of-charge (thanks to some generous donors); 3. proceeds from the items that are for sale (e.g., t-shirts with quotes by either Noel Polk or Neil McMillen) go to the Glamser-Stringer Legal Defense Fund; 4. Free-of-charge items include mock "USM For Sale" signs and Impeach Thames bumper stickers.

Lassen, Gregg < 1. currently the Vice President for Financial Affairs at USM; 2. formerly Dean of Graduate Business Studies at the University of Phoenix (online university); 3. "retired" lobbyist at the age of 40; 4. failed politician in Texas and Utah; 5. a PhD student in USM’s own world-renown program in Economic Development; 6. product of a Thames job search.

Lee, J. Charles < 1. President of Mississippi State University, Mississippi’s largest 4-year institution of higher learning (title held by MSU for 16 years prior, except for a couple of months in the Fall of 2003); 2. his IHL "colleague" and "friend" Shelby Thames stole his title of state’s largest university (see phantom students), though only for a fleeting moment in the Fall of 2003; Thames’ (see also Susan Siltanen) human error had revenue implications (potentially) for both schools (negative for MSU, and positive for USM) through "branding" or "marketing," not to mention IHL funding; 3. Memo to President Lee: watch your own back from now on; you might not get saved by The Student Printz next time, they’re already overworked covering the many facets of this image problem over at USM without having to take care of you too.

Let’s disband it < 1. statement made regarding the Faculty Senate at a recent USM Cabinet meeting; 2. according to Elliott Pood’s recollection (he was at the meeting), statement was made by "somebody" who "had some frustration"; 3. hundreds of people who weren’t at the meeting know by now that the "somebody" was Jack Hanbury, USM’s Risk Manager and university attorney, but Pood couldn’t recall who it was in an interview with Janet Braswell; 3. word on the street is that CBED Dean Harold Doty was the only person to speak out against Jack Hanbury’s idea during the cabinet meeting; 4. Lisa Mader indicated that the statement was made during "a discussion of how to improve communication campus wide" (one would guess that the Thames administration must be thinking that by eliminating the senate, there would be no need to communicate at all, thus "improving communication campus wide").

locksmith < 1. one who makes or repairs locks; 2. one of Shelby Thames’ most prized possessions; 3. a professional used heavily at USM by Shelby Thames and Jack Hanbury in preserving the integrity, credibility, and stability of USM.

Loftus, Jared < 1. former Hub SGA President; 2. Hub SGA president during the Thames administration and the subsequent crises that this administration became embroiled in (e.g., the Glamser-Stringer firings, etc., etc., etc.); 3. spent last weeks of term in office handling the ecoutrements for the Rahzel/Train concert in Reed Green Coliseum.

Lott, Trent < 1. U.S. Senator from Mississippi; 2. persistently mocks the Thames administration (in the media) for not getting the Economic Development Center off the ground; 3. word on the street is that the Center is about to be moved to Oxford.

LSU social science grad student < authored statistical report claiming that Thames’ scandals could cost USM over $25 million in tuition revenues/state subsidies over the next four years.

Lucas, Aubrey < 1. USM President preceding the Horace Flemming administration; 2. institutionalized the USM Faculty Senate, and let it "find its own level" (Neil McMillen); 3. will soon likely be, for the third time, USM President, and will use the occasion to even more solidify his important place in USM history.

lunch at McDonald’s < where USM sociology professor Frank Glamser ate lunch on December 11, 2003 — probably the last bread he ever broke in a state of peace (he returned from lunch to his office on campus to find, under his door, the anonymous envelope containing original, unmarked documents belonging in the Dvorak Variorum); 2. just weeks after this lunch, Glamser and his colleague Gary Stringer were summarily "Harrised" (see Anthony Harris).