P

Panton, Ken < 1. Dean of USM’s Honors College; 2. reportedly accepted a Thames administration offer to be Honors College Dean at a previously agreed-upon salary, only to get a "Dear John" letter from Thames on his first day at the helm indicating that his actual salary would have to be much less than what had previously been agreed to.

Paul, Joseph < 1. currently serves as the Vice President of Student Affairs at USM; 2. bleeds black and gold (USM school colors); 3. has been affiliated with USM since long before a Thames job search was ever conducted; 4. current finalist for the post of Vice President of Student Affairs at Texas A&M University in College Station, TX; 5. must now decide whether he wants to work around the current traditions at Texas A&M — the 12th man, Revelie, and Yell Leaders — or those currently building at USM — Tuesdays with Thames, anti-Thames protests on south lawn of the Administration Building, and reading The Varsity Voice/discussing the third side of issues of the day.

Pauley, Dennis < 1. graduate student in philosophy at USM; 2. called Shelby Thames a "peckerhead" at the inaugural Tuesdays against Thames meeting in March of 2004, shortly after the firings of Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer; 3. later, in April of 2004, called Thames a "peckerhead" once again in a letter to the editor of The Student Printz; 4. said in his letter he wishes USM students could have a shot at a vote of "no confidence" in the "peckerhead"; 5. in his letter Pauley indicated that he didn’t think Thames understood "peckerhead" to be a pejorative term.

Payne, Jim < 1. pro-faculty supporter of USM (of Payne Center fame); 2. rumored to be a top candidate of Haley Barbour for nomination to the IHL Board in April of 2004 (source, The Independent); 3. rift between Payne and Bob Mixon supporters forced Barbour to select Robin Robinson instead.

Pepper, Phil < 1. Economist for State of Mississippi; 2. sent to USM by the IHL Board to study the problem of phantom students and human error that gave USM the false status of largest university in the State of Mississippi; 3. authored report on human error and phantom students at USM that did not exonerate the actions of Shelby Thames and his administrative staff (see Susan Siltanen).

perpetual student education < 1. the farcical/nonsense third side argument made by newly-elected Hub SGA president Walt Cain recently; 2. supposedly describes Cain’s stance on the current crisis at USM; 3. actually, by not having Frank Glamser’s teaching replacement lined up the day he was fired, Shelby Thames hosed this very pillar of Walt Cain’s third side model.

petitiononline.com/usmtruth/petition.html < 1. online petition stating "No Confidence in Dr. Shelby Thames as President of the University of Southern Mississippi"; 2. online petition created by Concerned faculty, staff, students, alumni and friends of USM and written by Andrea Hewitt; 3. check it out today.

phantom students < 1. the 674 students that magically appeared on USM’s Fall semester 2003 roll sheet turned in to the IHL Board, and who also magically disappeared the following day; 2. overcount of USM students in the Fall of 2003 as a result of human error (see Phil Pepper).

Phase II < term used by academic freedom fighters referencing the post-Glamser-Stringer hearings stage of the war against the academic tyrant, Shelby Thames.

Pileum Corporation < 1. management consulting firm from Jackson, MS; 2. working with USM in the area of technology implementation; 3. rumor has it that Pileum Corporation is one of a few firms to be awarded contract work from USM without having to go through a competitive bid process (see Phil Bryant); 4. company tasked with e-mail surveillance at USM (see also e-mail perverts); 5. see also Jill Beneke.

Piliawsky, Monte < author of the 1981 book, Exit 13.

Pointe Innovation Magazine < 1. a science and technology publication reportedly founded by Angeline Dvorak and affiliated with the Mississippi Technology Alliance; 2. magazine that often employs Lynne Jeter, that is when she’s not writing unbiased articles about Angeline Dvorak for the Mississippi Business Journal.

Polk, Noel < 1. professor of English at USM; 2. product of a national job search; 3. staunchly anti-Thames, famous for the "...world class foot.." quote.

polymer < any of numerous natural and synthetic compounds of usually high molecular weight consisting of up to millions of repeated linked units, each a relatively light and simple molecule.

polymer university < 1. a university concerned only with any of numerous natural and synthetic compounds of usually high molecular weight consisting of up to millions of repeated linked units, each a relatively light and simple molecule; 2. a university that thinks the liberal arts represent a waste of time and money.

Pood, Elliott < 1. first-year Dean of USM’s College of Arts and Letters; 2. hid in his office while Shelby Thames carried out his Pearl Harbor-style attack on USM professors Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer; 3. actually made statements on the first day of the firings that sounded a lot like Walt Cain’s third side argument about perpetual student education, though Cain coined the phrase; 4. recently surfaced to praise the hiring of Glamser’s teaching replacement.

Powell, William < 1. Associate Professor of Foreign Languages and Literature at USM; 2. product of a national job search; 3. chaired the Credentials Committee of USM’s Graduate Council looking into Angeline Dvorak’s graduate faculty credentials in the Spring of 2004 (see also 14-0).

Prejean, Danielle < 1. USM senior Honors College student, being advised (for thesis) by Frank Glamser; 2. tireless fighter for truth and integrity; 3. said USM’s academic integrity had been sacrificied by Thames administration scandals.

preserving the integrity, credibility, and stability of [an] institution < 1. for a functional president or chancellor, this is best done by providing adequate processes for granting tenure and protecting academic freedom, allowing shared governance, hiring faculty/administrators through national job searches, and getting out of the way; 2. for a dysfunctional president or chancellor, this is accomplished by firing two esteemed/well-regarded scholars with tenure in the middle of the semester, thereby eliminating all sense of academic freedom on the campus, without ever having considered (even for a second) who would teach their classes, thus making it necessary to conduct a Thames job search for a replacement after two weeks of missed class meetings.

President’s University Council < 1. new council announced by Shelby Thames on 5/5/2004, consisting of about 18 members (1 faculty, 1 staff, and 1 student from each of the 5 colleges, along with representation from USMGC) nominated by the deans of each college (i.e., not elected by anyone); 2. new council set up "to improve communication" on campus; 3. Shelby Thames announced plan on 5/5/2004 and wants it to have its first meeting by 5/12/2004; 4. The Varsity Voice of shared governance now at USM; 5. America’s "founding fathers" are turning over ....

private e-mail < 1. type of e-mail transmission that is protected from view by those not intended to be party to the message/conversation; 2. the "baseball, hot dogs apple pie, and mom" of an American university that wants to make a difference in the world; 3. activity down-sized at USM by Shelby Thames on solid grounds due to inefficiency.

privatization < contracting with private sector entities for the provision of student services, such as meals and textbook service (both are rumored to be imminent as of 4/04).

pump up resume < 1. term used by Angeline Dvorak to describe why she sought a JD degree from Thomas Cooley Law School in the mid-1990s; 2. term also incriminates her use of the "tenured associate professor of english at Kentucky" statement (on her resume).

quid pro quo < 1. letting Billy Hewes deliver the USMGC commencement address for pushing through a pro-Thames resolution in the Gulfport City Council; 2. letting Blake Hamm deliver the USM commencement address for bringing the Hub SGA into the Thames fold; 3. quid=commencement address and quo=political support; 4. see cronyism; 5. see nepotism.

Quinlivan, Rebecca Hollingsworth < USM graduate (1968) and mother of Rachel Quinlivan; 2. wrote a letter to Shelby Thames and the IHL Board on 5/2/2004 stating that Thames personally attacked the integrity of her daughter, accessed her daughter’s personal e-mail, attempted to draw her daughter into the middle of the Glamser-Stringer hearings, and brought shame and disgrace to both USM and himself.

Quinlivan, Rachel < 1. currently the editor of The Student Printz; 2. carrying on Robbie Ward’s legacy in search of the truth; 3. drug into the Glamser-Stringer hearings by Shelby Thames when he read a private e-mail of hers that was caught in his e-mail surveillance scheme (see also e-mail perverts).

Ramsey, Marshall < 1. Pulitzer Prize-winning editorial cartoonist appearing in The Clarion Ledger; 2. spoofs thee Thames administration by depicting Shelby Thames as the evil doctor played by Mike Meyers in the Austin Powers movie series.

red-blooded American male < 1. common usage: a man’s man; 2. a double-dog dare that Shelby Thames uses in the media to get underpaid USM faculty to take on his million-dollar public relations machine in the "court of public opinion".

resume < 1. employment document listing all one has done and been in his/her professional life; 2. for USM administrators, what you wish you had been able to do and be can also be included without negative consequences (they have Thames job insurance).

Risk Manager < 1. useful henchman for iron-fisted leaders; 2. helps administration of an organization get around, for a time, pesky legal restrictions and constitutional protections; 3. legally effects Thames authority.

Robinson, Robin < 1. IHL Board appointee (April 2004) by Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour; 2. USM grad, and Human Resources official at Sanderson Farms in Laurel; 3. is opposed to the universities raising tuition and wants them to become "self-sufficient" (by selling their inventions).

Ross, Scott < 1. IHL Board member; 2. didn’t think the USM crisis warranted IHL Board agenda consideration for the first meeting held after the firing of two highly regarded tenured faculty members, even after the Faculty Senate had voted 40-0 "no confidence in Thames" and the USM faculty had voted 430-32 in affirmation of its Senate; 3. blasted the NCAA for "bothering" Mississippi State’s "shiny clean" football program; 4. see IHL yahoo.

Roundhouse cleaning < reference to subtle signs in March/April 2004 that the Thames administration was in the throes of collapse. The subtle signs included (a) Angeline and Mark Dvorak’s garage sale, (b) Joe Paul’s resignation from the Hattiesburg City Schools Board, supporting the belief that he was to become the new VP of Student Affairs at Texas A&M University, (c) discovery that Provost Tim Hudson was a finalist for the presidencies at Slippery Rock and Texas – Pan Am, and (d) word that Aubrey K. Lucas’ daughter was building a home in Canebrake.

sanitizing the website < routine (daily) practice by iTech officials at USM of removing exaggerations and untruths from various parts of USM’s official homepage, especially after feeling the heat of geocities.org/fireshelby and other watchdogs.

Scallan, Melissa < news reporter for The Sun Herald who covers stories related to USM turmoil.

Scarborough, William < 1. Professor of History at USM; 2. esteemed scholar and product of a national job search some time ago; 3. word has it that he can get your hands on a Friends List if you want one; 4. astute critic of Thames administration from the beginning: "It’s obvious that the people who had the most influence in [the selection of Shelby Thames as USM President] were the car dealers, the lawyers and the athletics supporters..."; 5. for examples of the types of individuals Scarborough spoke about in this April 2002 quote, see Krandall Howell, Paul "Bud" Holmes, and Billy Hewes (see also Thames Underworld).

Schilling, Ryan < 1. USM alumnus who was removed from Reed Green Coliseum by USM police officers for participating in a calm, orderly protest of the Thames administration during a USM mens basketball game; 2. USM alumnus who protested Thames in the Greenhouse, and has since become a community icon.

school uniforms < 1. khaki-colored button-downs worn by all iTech employees during work hours at USM; 2. cheaper t-shirt versions are also being worn now by Physical Plant employees, stating their name, rank and serial number; 3. new uniform policy initiated by Shelby Thames for certain staff/support agencies within the university, all to make him feel more like king of the world (see Napoleon complex).

17 days < 1. length of time it took Ken Malone to answer William Powell’s question: does Angeline Dvorak hold a tenure track position at USM? (see also 14-0); 2. question was posed by Powell on March 22 (2004) and answered (via e-mail) by Malone (with a "no sir-ree-bob") on April 7 (2004).

Sex with Secretary Equals Misuse of USM Property < ubiquitous sign at anti-Thames rallies on campus.

Shanteau-Newton, Virginia < 1. IHL Board member from the Gulf Coast; 2. the only board member with a USM degree (currently); 3. the only board member to vote against Thames on both rounds of voting (see Ricki Garrett), and still the only one to consistently oppose Thames; 4. Nostradamus-like vision regarding USM crises: "I feared this would happen . . . this is what I feared...."; 5. in the aftermath of the Glamser-Stringer settlement, she said she remaining "deeply disturbed" about USM’s turmoils.

Shearer, Kenneth B. < 1. past president of the USM Alumni Association (1970-1971); 2. believes in Thames authority; 3. wrote letter to The Hattiesburg American (4/26/04) stating that Shelby Thames follows legal and ethical standards, though USM faculty have often encumbered the institution by abusing tenure; 4. believes USM faculty to be a bunch of whiners.

Shelby in the Schoolhouse Door < 1. reference to Shelby Thames’ quote, "I cannot in good conscience return these two individuals [Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer] to the classroom," made by Thames after reviewing students’ suggestions (from the first-ever Tuesdays against Thames meeting, the Tuesday after the firings), along with Provost Tim Hudson’s support, to allow the two fired professors to finish their teaching duties for Spring semester 2004; 2. Shelby Thames’ refusal to let Frank Glamser continue teaching and shaping the minds of his almost 200 students; 3. yet another example of a Southern figure standing in the schoolhouse door, barring students (this time about 200 of them) from getting the education they are entitled to as taxpayers/U.S. citizens; 4. to amend and borrow from former Alabama Governor George Wallace’s line: "‘Not in good conscience’ today, ‘not in good conscience’ tomorrow, ‘not in good conscience’ forever" (imagine being said by Shelby Thames, with a strong Southern accent); 5. yet another defeat for academic integrity that Provost Tim Hudson didn’t see fit to resign over.

Shelby’s Sovereignty Commission < current occupants of the Aubrey K. Lucas Administration Building that engage in e-mail surveillance and maintain enemies lists. [guest Glossary entry by Faculty Senate]

Shelby Thames University < a Carnegie 23Z-YVR4-subsectionXIV "practical arts" institution.

Shelbyjugend < see Hub SGA (see also my most prized possession).

Siltanen, Susan < 1. Assistant Provost at USM; 2. committed the unthinkable — human error — during her service to the Thames administration when she misreported USM enrollment figures, leading to Shelby Thames’ false claim (see The Student Printz) that USM had surpassed Mississippi State as the state’s largest university; 3. mis/overcounted USM’s Fall 2003 enrollment by 674 students (see phantom students); 4. if you don’t believe the miscount theory, the Thames administration asks that you buy the theory that Siltanen, acting as a maverick, "broken arrow" USM administrator, took it upon herself to knowingly misreport USM enrollment figures (Roy Klumb and Carl Nicholson apparently bought one, or both, of these theories); 5. Siltanen relieved by Thames from enrollment reporting responsibilities on solid grounds.

Slay, Lisa < see Lisa Mader.

solid grounds < 1. the standard of evidence/proof employed by the Thames administration in its investigations; 2. a standard of evidence/proof more sound than "beyond any reasonable doubt"; 3. this standard is met if, and only if, a risk manager and a group of unnamed "outside attorneys" review a packet of evidence from an investigation conducted by someone with a conflict of interest (e.g., that same risk manager, who is a good friend of the person he is asked to investigate) and decide that a punishment is indeed necessary. This standard is also most likely to be met when unnamed sources voluntarily provide useful information that indicates that the alleged transgression "was worse than anyone ever imagined."

Southern Diversified Products, LLC < 1. Mississippi MURA Company, located on Hardy Street across from Lake Byron on the USM campus; 2. employs USM polymer science students to mix American Pride Paint for the Shelby Thames Research Group.

Spigener, Sarah < 1. former Vice President of the Hub SGA; 2. refused to criticize Angeline Dvorak’s credentials even after discovering she and the rest of the Hub SGA had been misled by Dvorak (see Chad Cornett); 3. maintains now that Dvorak has done too much good for USM students to question her credentials (see Van Hook Golf Course for example of the good things Dvorak has done for students).

St. John, Robert < 1. chef at the Purple Parrott/Crescent City Grill in Hattiesburg; 2. pro-Thames chef in Hattiesburg, who is said to have attended the Honor House Rally; 3. doesn’t seem to understand that his establishments got screwed by Shelby Thames’ and Ken Malone’s Downtown Lunch Express (see 2 Trolleys) plan that had the 2 USM trolleys exit campus and head east on Hardy Street to the many fine downtown restaurants (i.e., in the opposite direction of St. John’s eateries).

staff don’t eat < reference to a policy from the Thames administration mandating that all departmental offices remain open during lunch (see efficiency), leaving overworked (and underpaid) secretarial staff scrambling for time/opportunity to get lunch (they had previously been allowed to close during the lunch hour).

Stevie Wonder-like vision < The Hattiesburg American’s sports columnist Vann Arnold’s take on the Thames administration’s judgement/astuteness to close Van Hook Golf Course when he (Arnold) thought it could have easily been saved for the Hattiesburg community (see also Sarah Spigener).

Stringer, Gary < 1. Moorman Professor of English at USM, fired without due process; 2. product of a national job search decades ago; 3. world-renown scholar, the Donne Variorum, etc; 4. has(d) tenure, but not Thames job insurance; 5. USM faculty and Faculty Senate both overwhelmingly voted that they would rather have Gary Stringer as a colleague than Shelby Thames (statement attributed to Noel Polk).

Strossen, Nadine < 1. national president of the ACLU; 2. spoke at anti-Thames rally on the Bennett Auditorium lawn on April 6, 2004.

The Student Printz < 1. USM’s official student newspaper; 2. newspaper whose scathing editorials on the corruption at USM that led Thames to conclude that we aren’t properly educating our journalism students any more; 3. broken more Thames-scandal stories than Hattiesburg American, including the USM enrollment scandal.

students’ right to privacy < entry on page 77 of the USM Student Handbook (2003-2004) stating that the "University [USM] will not police students’ private lives on or off campus nor violate their privacy rights in any way" (see e-mail perverts). [guest Glossary entry by wary undergrad]

Sulentic, Margaret Mary < 1. former assistant professor in CISE; 2. well-qualified, product of a national job search; 3. professional threat to Dana Thames; 4. quietly left USM after mistreatment at hands of department chair, but not before putting into action: "type in ‘c: format’ then press ‘Enter’".

The Sun Herald < 1. the Biloxi-Gulfport area news authority; 2. middle-of-the pack coverage.

Swan, Randy < 1. WDAM-TV news anchor; 2. conducted interview with Shelby Thames where Thames debuted the phrase well-oiled machine; 3. submitted affidavit to Reuben Anderson indicating Lisa Mader submitted documents to his office containing an un-redacted Social Security Number for Angeline Dvorak, thus seriously damaging Shelby Thames’ case against Frank Glamser and Gary Stringer.