Hellooo Fighters for TRUTH:

I've been working in Lansing (Mayor's Office) all morning.  Here's what I have to report.  It seems the Mayor's office has received e-mails, letters, phone calls and reports of an interesting letter that many citizens (we know of about 1,200 so far) of Lansing have received some time this year.  Here's a copy of one:

March 11, 2004

Dear Occupant:

My name is Dr. Shelby F. Thames, and I am the President of The University of Southern Mississippi.  I was appointed to my position in May of 2002 by the State's Board of Higher Education with the mandate to cut costs, employment lines, and generate revenues at this large, publicly supported institution --- in essence, to "clean house."  What I am doing is the wave of the future, a radical change in the way colleges and universities are to be run. 

In the process we are saving millions upon millions of dollars at this institution alone --- a taxpayer dollars.  These tax dollars will ultimately go back to where they belong, the taxpayers.  But, in doing my job to the best of my ability, I am encountering opposition from my faculty and even some students, who I am trying to help.

This is where you come in.  As most of you know, faculty don't do much of anything.  Teach a course every now-and-again, hold and hour or so of office hours each week, write a newspaper article or so once every few years, and attend a conference from time-to-time.  In their spare time --- which is tremendous --- they moan and complain about their salaries, working conditions, burdensome teaching responsibilities, athletics, etc.  Unlike you and I, they don't have to work for a living.  The State takes care of them, while you and I have to put in a day's work for a day's pay.  Having said all that, they get to enjoy the lifetime benefit of being in "the tenure club."  Do you have tenure at your job?  I didn't think so.

Here's what I need from you.  I'm not asking for money or a donation.  I just need you to write a letter supporting what I'm doing for hard-working, honest-living taxpayers.  State that all I'm doing is asking the profs to do their jobs, and stop challenging my authority to lead this university.  If you want to throw in a crack about the lazy bums, go ahead (if you ever made a bad grade in school, consider this your chance to make yourself feel better).  Simply date and sign your letter, and address it to the Editor of one or more of the following newspaper:

The Clarion-Ledger; The Hattiesburg American; The Sun Herald.

Addresses for these papers can be found on the web, at newspapername.com.  Oh, and keep in mind that what I'm doing down here, if successful, is easily trasferable to your State.  You too can have your lazy profs back to work in not time.

Thank you once again.

Very truly yours,

Shelby F. Thames, President

As I said, we have about 1,200 copies of these in our hands.  A statistician from Michigan State University has uploaded (from CD) the Lansing telephone directory.  What he's been able to discover is that, according to his model, the letter has been sent to every fifth resident using the Lansing phone directory.  My associate tells me that the Lansing effort alone cost about $15,000, if not more.  Keep in mind that you've seen letters from many far away states, so this effort is obviously being copied to other states, including Mississippi.  Regarding Mississippi, what information we have suggests that the targets are not randomly selected.  They are chosen based on occupations and political parties, in order to increase the odds of getting the desired result.

Well, no letters have been sent in from Michigan.  With the prominence of University of Michigan and Michigan State University --- 2 truly world class institutions --- we figure Michigan residents don't want their universities torn down this way.

I should be able to get back this weekend, having discovered what I needed to.  I'll be presenting some data on this to Mr. Chain.  BTW, it's possible the Trent Lott Center will break ground at Thomas Cooley Law School sometime this Fall.  Judge Cooley put up the needed $3.5 million by wire from his Gulfstream just 45 minutes ago.

Back soon.

RM