Some (more) sad news to report...

Date: May 26, 2004

Some (more) sad news to report...

Date: May 26, 2004

I live in rural Oklahoma (redundant I know) and am gathering some major search parties to canvass the home of the 5 Civilized Tribes (and several uncivilized ones). We will find the good judge sooner than later!

Date: May 26, 2004

Do the five tribes operate any casinos?

Date: May 26, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Invictus
"Do the five tribes operate any casinos?"

Yes, they operate many casinos. This will be the central focus of the ongoing searches. Toby Keith is heading up the Choctaw area search, Garth Brooks is in charge of the Chickasha area search, and Will Rogers just called from the grave and is being hastily resurrected to head up the Cherokee Search. Should know more soon. David Boren has called up wanting to help as well. He's searching the Shawnee areas (Loyal and Absentee).

Date: May 26, 2004

quote:

Originally posted by: Thomas Cooley's Risk Manager
"... Judge Cooley's Gulfstream disappeared from radar over Oklahoma last night. .. Search parties are combing rural areas everywhere in Oklahoma today, but no luck so far. .."

Could this be Fire Shelby's season finale cliffhanger? Stay tuned!

Date: May 26, 2004

I suspected something was rotten in Denmark here-is there any discussion of foul play-the night chalker-and now Judge Cooley-coincidence??

Date: May 26, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: cockeyedoptimist
"I suspected something was rotten in Denmark here-is there any discussion of foul play-the night chalker-and now Judge Cooley-coincidence??"

I'm sure this is part of the nefarious uber-plot hinted at by Chess and made clear by Machiavelli (the player-hater). It's all about the hate! Iddad was right! I have no heart! The TRUTH is out, Old Timer! Seeker and Sage (and Seeker's Risk Manager), where are you when we need you to save us from ourselves AND to save the Night Chalker and Judge Cooley!

Here's the real plot: The Dome is one big hate magnet, and it's captured us all in its "nebulous and misguided" hate force-field. Our only hope is non-nebulous and non-misguided outside counsel from the law offices of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe...I mean, Dvorak and Hanbury!

Date: May 26, 2004

I wish all the best for Judge Cooley and his family. I am reminded of the disappearance of another great figure in education many years ago, the founder of The University of Petal at Eastabuchie (UPE), Bubba Hargis. Gone but not forgotten.

Date: May 26, 2004

Will Rogers just called and, on a hunch from a vague tip, checked out the Cherokee Nation Casino in Catoosa, Okla. Turns out that it wasn't Judge Cooley playing at the $25 dollar Craps Table, but it appeared to be Shelby Thames. Rogers, being the diplomat that he is, decided against approaching Thames because so far

He's never met a man he didn't like.

Date: May 26, 2004

LOL!

Date: May 26, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: BoomerSooner
"Will Rogers just called and, on a hunch from a vague tip, checked out the Cherokee Nation Casino in Catoosa, Okla. Turns out that it wasn't Judge Cooley playing at the $25 dollar Craps Table, but it appeared to be Shelby Thames. Rogers, being the diplomat that he is, decided against approaching Thames because so far He's never met a man he didn't like."

Too funny! Thanks for the AM laugh, Boomer Sooner!

Date: May 26, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Eagle
"I am reminded of the disappearance of another great figure in education many years ago, the founder of The University of Petal at Eastabuchie (UPE), Bubba Hargis. Gone but not forgotten."

Which reminds me...Talk about serendipity. If I'm not mistaken, UPE is now offering a 4 month, home study, PhD in Current Affairs, in response to the growing need for tenure track faculty in the new USM Economic Development program. See the UPE news release in the Sunday HA, quoting UPE Chancellor Dr. Jim Bob Bilbo, formerly Provost at the Thomas Cooley School of Law and Ethics.

Date: May 26, 2004

The PhD in Current Afairs at UPE consists of four months of viewing CNN Headline News and looking at pictures in USA Today. Reading is reserved for post-doc. study.

Date: May 26, 2004

For $75 (compare with the current USM per credit hour tuition), you can design your own diploma from an "accredited diploma mill". At that one-time rate, you can have multiple doctorates! Revive the European tradition of being "Doctor Doctor"!

And remember, that $75 transaction is economic development in action!

To truly round out your credentials, get ordained, too.

How can SFT possibly fire an ordained minister with six PhDs?

Date: May 26, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Eagle
"The PhD in Current Afairs at UPE consists of four months of viewing CNN Headline News and looking at pictures in USA Today. Reading is reserved for post-doc. study."

You are correct, Sir. Our home study Ph.D. requirements, as outlined in the current UPE catalog, include neither reading nor writing exercises. However, I understand that most post-doc programs in current affairs do include the assiduous, critical examination of selected contemporary periodicals, foremost among them, People magazine.

Date: May 26, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Invictus
" Revive the European tradition of being "Doctor Doctor"! "

And here I thought that was a song by the Thompson Twins.

(okay, so I'm an 80s new wave fan...sue me!)

Date: May 26, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: truth4usm/AH
"And here I thought that was a song by the Thompson Twins. (okay, so I'm an 80s new wave fan...sue me!)"

I've been trying to forget that song for two decades!

Another interesting tidbit was told me by a friend at the University of Prague: untenured doctorates used the preface "dr." while tenured profs got to capitalize it. He called 'em "little doctors" & "big doctors." He was a little doctor then & is a big doctor now.

As they say on slashdot, "In Soviet Russia, the president's email reads YOU!"

[Footnote: I see that this thread is becoming particularly "hateful." How to we avoid it? ROTFLMFAO!]

Date: May 26, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Invictus
" I've been trying to forget that song for two decades! Another interesting tidbit was told me by a friend at the University of Prague: untenured doctorates used the preface "dr." while tenured profs got to capitalize it. He called 'em "little doctors" & "big doctors." He was a little doctor then & is a big doctor now. As they say on slashdot, "In Soviet Russia, the president's email reads YOU!" [Footnote: I see that this thread is becoming particularly "hateful." How to we avoid it? ROTFLMFAO!]"

See, words really do matter! dr. vs. DR.

Quick, let's all get in a circle and sing "Kumbaya" with our Eagle Talk brethren (and sistren!) as to avoid the hateful "hateful" label!

(I am SO glad that the other message board will have icons! )

Date: May 26, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Invictus
"

Another interesting tidbit was told me by a friend at the University of Prague: untenured doctorates used the preface "dr." while tenured profs got to capitalize it. He called 'em "little doctors" & "big doctors." He was a little doctor then & is a big doctor now.

[Footnote: I see that this thread is becoming particularly "hateful." How to we avoid it? ROTFLMFAO!]"

Invictus,

Your use of the term "little doctor" is a thinly veiled, vicious personal attack on Dr. Thames, and does little to further our cause.

This is your final warning. Please refrain from using such vitriolic prose, lest you be banned from this message board. In the event of a second infraction, your ban will become effective on May 28, 2004.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Very truly yours,
FS Political Correctness Committee

cc: ROTFLMFAO

Date: May 26, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Political Correctness Committee
"

Invictus,

Your use of the term "little doctor" is a thinly veiled, vicious personal attack on Dr. Thames, and does little to further our cause.

This is your final warning. Please refrain from using such vitriolic prose, lest you be banned from this message board. In the event of a second infraction, your ban will become effective on May 28, 2004.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Very truly yours,
FS Political Correctness Committee

cc: ROTFLMFAO"

Might I ask the committee if it would be acceptable to refer to Dr. Shelby Thames as "Papa Doc", and Dr. Dana Thames as "Baby Doc" ? I'd hate to be un-PC, and be banned from the board. Thanks in advance for your wise counsel.

AE

Date: May 26, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Austin Eagle
"

Might I ask the committee if it would be acceptable to refer to Dr. Shelby Thames as "Papa Doc", and Dr. Dana Thames as "Baby Doc" ? I'd hate to be un-PC, and be banned from the board. Thanks in advance for your wise counsel. "

Only if it can be conclusively demonstrated by an independent auditing agency that there are more zombies walking around USM than at other universities.

Certainly don't want to be

either

Date: May 26, 2004

quote:
Originally posted by: Invictus
"

Only if it can be conclusively demonstrated by an independent auditing agency that there are more zombies walking around USM than at other universities.

Certainly don't want to be either "

Invictus,

I thought you were about to say "Only if it can be conclusively demonstrated by an independent DNA laboratory that the parentage has been confirmed."

AE, also ROTFLMAO